Has there ever been a time in your life when suddenly you felt liberated from something that has been bothering you for a long time? Or do you wish to be liberated from something right now and you are hoping to be free from it soon? Well, I think I am in both. Somehow, something that I have been carrying for a long time has been taken from me, not completely, not yet. But I think God has been slowly stripping me away of it, slowly taking that burden of a dead horse from my past, and unceasingly supporting me to go on everyday, showing me the beauty of the future without it. I still have bad dreams, literally. I find myself waking up early in the morning wondering how in the world do I still get to dream about the bad things no matter where I am. I think it would take more time to completely lose it in my dreams but what is good about now is it’s not in my reality anymore.
Time really has a way of bringing us to places and God definitely has bigger plans. I’ve always said that but evidently, my concept of “bigger” is still not big enough compared to what He has planned. Currently, I am at the end of my 3rd semester in Graduate School and looking back, a lot of things have changed from when I first left home. Moreover, the couple of years break from the corporate life is almost over and I am not sure if I am ready to go back. Leaving home and living in another country has redefined freedom for me. South Korea has opened a lot of doors for me that I have never imagined I would ever get to see in my life. Lastly, going away have shown me who, among everybody I know, are the ones who motivate me to come back home. They are the ones who, despite the distance, managed to keep in touch, managed to make me feel that wherever I am, I am still a part of their lives. I have never been the type of person who wants a million acquaintances, a handful of people who truly care has always been enough.
I’ll be going home in a few days and though I am not yet sure how the remaining months of the year would pan out, one thing I am surely praying for is that…. no more dead horses this time. 🙂
“I’m gonna walk a hundred miles,
I’m gonna whistle all the while,
If that’s what it takes to make me smile,
I’m gonna walk a hundred miles.”
– Mindy Gledhill